Thursday, March 1, 2007

Local Ku Klux Klan Chapter Claims to be "Raciest"

Group insists other White Supremacists miss the mark

Members of a local Ku Klux Klan chapter don't understand why they haven't gained more recognition and praise from the Grand Wizard and other higher-ups. The group, consisting of 13 young men, known as "The Klan With A Plan" has reinvented the practice and wants the world to know all about it. They're hoping a handful of publications (such as The Onion) will help spread the word.

Bringing Sexy Back

"Those other Klans are so stuck in the 1940's; not even close to raciest, "says 3 month member Tony Lopez. "We've totally jazzed up the outfits."

The Klan With A Plan's Focus on Fashion:

1. The "mini-cloak"
2. Crop top Klan blouse
3. Turquoise Tuesdays

Lopez stated that they are petitioning clothing company, Banana Republic, to open a store featuring their latest fashion trends. A possible name is Klanner Republic.

Shake What Your Momma Gave Ya

Today's Klanner needs to adapt to the ever changing culture, according to Lopez. "Standing out in the cold burning crosses is so yesterday. What's sexy about that?" The Klan With A Plan chooses to set the night on fire at local dance clubs and disco techs.

When asked how he felt about black people, Lopez replied: "Oh! I met this cocoa skinned fella last night on the dance floor... and he definitely was "well hung."